Glee Does Family Guy
by HufflepuffGleek
Summary: In this series of one-shots Glee will be singing songs from Family Guy (Both of which I don't own). I hope you enjoy.


Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the songs used

HufflepuffGleek: So my friend and I were talking about the Glee episode about alcohol and she brought up the family guy episode where Brian and Peter do AA and she wanted me to write the Mr. Booze Song.

The New Directions stood backstage before they had to go on. Brittany was supposed to be singing a Ke$ha sing but she had gotten sick from drinking too much way to fast and was resting in the nurses office and they now had no song to sing. Rachel was sitting crisscross on the floor leaning against a box thinking of a song to sing. She wondered if any of the others came up with an idea when she thought of something. She quickly stood up and ran off calling for them to stall the crowd until she returned. She came back about ten minutes later and Principal Figgins was still droning on about the same thing he had been talking about when she had left.

"You guys I have an idea." Rachel said

The group gathered around the short brunette who handed out the lyrics. The guys all high-fived and laughed while some of the others looked amused. Rachel quickly gave them parts. Finn would play the part of Peter, Puck would be Bruce, and she had been picked to be Brian since originally she wanted Sam to do it but he told he should get a part for picking the song, Sam instead would be Doctor Hartman, and the rest of them would be the Audience. Kurt would also be Tom Tucker and Mike would be Ollie Williams. Artie would also get a solo as Carl the guy who worked at the gas station. The New Directions took their positions as Principal Figgins introduced them and saying they would be singing a Ke $ Ha song.

"Actually we are going to be singing a new song." Rachel said

_**Finn:**__ Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions:**__ Mr. Booze_

_**Finn:**__ Mr. B-Double O-Z-E_

_**Rachel and Puck:**__ That sure spells Booze_

_**Finn:**__ You will wind up wearing tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Rachel and Puck:**__ Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions:**__ Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Finn:**__ Don't mess with Mr. B-Double O-Z-E_

_If you been so stiff they thought you died_

_You'll feel better once you testified_

_**New Directions:**__ Testify!_

_**Puck:**__ Oh Yeah!  
__**New Directions:**__ Testify! Testify!_

_**Puck:**__ I wanna testify! I wanna testify!_

_**Finn:**__ Well than cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself!_

_**Puck:**__One time I took a library book out and I fells asleep reading it and I left it under the bed. I forgot about it for three and a half years. I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day I had a sip of Rosé wine and I never made it out of the house_

_**Finn:**__ Who's to blame?_

_**New Directions:**__ Who's to blame?_

_**Finn:**__ What's his name?_

_**New Directions:**__ We know his name, his name is_

_Mr. Booze_

_Mr. Booze_

_Mr. B-Double O-Z-E don't ever choose_

_Any game you play with him, you'll lose, so don't mess with Mr. Booze!_

_**Finn: **__If your head feels like it's two miles wide_

_**New Directions:**__ Two miles wide_

_**Finn**__: You'll feel better once you've testified_

_**New Directions**__: Testified_

_**Rachel**__: Oh Yeah_

_**New Directions**__: Testify_

_**Artie**__: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!_

_**Finn**__: Well come forward dear brother and testify!_

_**Artie**__: I used to be a soda pop guy. Then I switched to the bottle. Now I don't leave my couch and I've seen every movie ever. You name a movie, I've seen it_

_**New Directions**__: Meet Dave_

_**Artie**__: Seen it_

_**New Directions**__: The Eiger Sanction_

_**Artie**__: Seen it_

_**New Directions**__: Donovan's Reef_

_**Artie**__: Seen it_

_**New Directions**__: License to Drive!_

_**Artie**__: Definitely seen it_

_**Finn**__, __**Puck**__ & __**Rachel**__: That's a shame_

_**New Directions**__: What a shame_

_**Finn**__, __**Puck**__ & __**Rachel**__: Who's to blame_

_**New Directions**__: for Corey Haim?_

_His name is_

_Mr. Booze_

_Mr. Booze_

_Mr. B-Double O-Z-E you must refuse_

_You'll make the obituary news_

_If you mess with Mr. Booze_

_If you've been so stiff they'd thought you died_

_You'll feel better once you've testified_

_Testify_

_Testify_

_**Kurt**__: This man wants to testify_

_**Finn**__: Very well my brother_

_Let us lead him on the path of righteousness_

_**Kurt**__: This poor gentleman used to speak in long, eloquent sentences. But after years of drinking he can only speak in short, choppy utterances._

_Why, at one time, if you asked him who his favorite musicians were he'd say Leonard Bernstein, Johan Sebastian Bach and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But thanks to that old devil hooch, it's all changed_

_Who's your favorite musician, Ollie?_

_**Mike**__: Cher!_

_**Kurt**__: He doesn't even like Cher_

_**Rachel**__: Now alcohol makes a big man small_

_And can lead to a life of crime_

_**New Directions**__: Yeah!_

_**Puck**__: Demon rum makes a gent a bum_

_And cash in before your time_

_**New Directions**__: Yeah!_

_**Sam**__: Bootleg gin puts you in a spin_

_Till you don't even know your name_

_**New Directions**__: Yeah!_

_**Finn**__: You're a basket case flat on your face_

_And there's only one guy to blame_

_**New Directions**__: Mr. B-Double O-Z-E_

_Mr. Booze_

_Mr. Booze_

_Mr. B-Double O-Z-E Don't ever choose_

_**Finn**__: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes_

_If you mess with Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions**__: Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Finn**__: Oh Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions**__: Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Finn**__: Oh Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions**__: Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Rachel**__: Don't mess with B-Double O-Z-E_

_'Cause that spells booze_

_And you're gonna lose with Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions**__: Oh, Yeah!_

_**Rachel**__: Don't mess around with Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions**__: Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Puck**__: That's what she said now_

_**New Directions**__: Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_**Finn**__: Oh Mr. Booze_

_**New Directions**__: Don't mess with Mr. Booze_

_Don't mess with Mr. ..._

_Don't mess with Mr. ..._

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

_Don't mess with ah-ah_

_Oh Mr. Booze_

_Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

_Yeah!_

The student body sat there for a few minutes before they started clapping. Mr. Schue looked so confused as to what had happened to the Ke$ha song they were supposed to sing. Sue Sylvester and Principal Figgins sat in shock not really sure what had just happened.

**HufflepuffGleek: Well I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please read and review.**


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